Kids and Plus Ones
Weddings are expensive. Couples pay a lot of money per guest for their big day. Venues have limits on how many people you can have and kids usually are rowdy at weddings. There are very valid reasons to not permit plus ones and to consider an adult only affair, however there are ways to go about it to try to avoid headaches and heartache come RSVP time.
plus ones...
Okay, so there are certain people you HAVE to give a "plus one" to or allow to bring their date-
- people in relationships, some couples will try to make rules like, "only if they've been together 6 months or longer," I don't recommend this as it will get very dicey. If said guest has a partner, they need to be invited.
- people who are married- even if you don't like their spouse, you have to invite them.
- wedding party, so you really SHOULD give plus ones to your wedding party just as a courtesy.
Final thoughts on plus ones: no one wants to go to a wedding alone. Weddings are a celebration of love and weddings are an event that are hosted in HONOR of the couple and for guests. Its celebration of your holy matrimony. If your budget allows- give everyone a plus one who is single. You know your guests better than anyone else, so use your judgement but know that not inviting spouses and girlfriends and boyfriends is going to put you in some dangerous waters. If a guest or family member is planning to bring someone who will wreak havoc on your day, talk to said person. Your wedding day, while very special, is ONE day, your relationships will be around long after that.
kids
Kids at weddings. This is a different experience for EVERY couple. If there's not very many kids in your wedding guest list circle, it's likely a nonconcern. If everyone you know has a toddler you may be leaning more toward drawing the line.
All or nothing.
The thing about kid free weddings is you either allow everyone to bring a kid or do not allow anyone to bring a kid. The only exception may be your own kids and kids in the wedding party (flower girl + ring bearer), however if you feel really strongly about a childfree wedding, consider foregoing a flower girl and ringbearer.
It tends to get very sticky if you allow your sister Janet to bring her 3 year old but don't allow your cousin to bring her 5 year old, you may run into some conflict.
Some couples also set age limits and allow kids over a certain age to attend- this is typically also due to catering. This can be an acceptable route as well.
If you have a lot of families traveling to your wedding day, the expectation for them to find a sitter for their kids may not be feasible. Definitely consider this as well as it may mean not allowing kids means certain people do not come.
In the end,
many people have MANY different opinions regarding both of these topics and it really does rely on you, as the one getting married, to decide what will work for your guests and your wedding.
If you want more personalized wedding advice and help with your day, email me at tatiana@simplycharmedevents.com